A well-chosen sex toy can transform your sex life, especially as you get older. Here is our Sex Expert Kate Taylor with her top toy suggestions for people over 50
I’m such a huge fan of sex toys, my bedside drawer contains more technology than NASA. They’re the ultimate form of self care and let you take control of your sex life, whether or not you have a willing partner nearby. They also help you reap the numerous health benefits of orgasms, exercise your Kegel muscles, and keep your bits in tip-top shape.
But our needs change as we age. After 50, changes to our bodies mean we need different types of stimulation. Here are my must-buys!
Invest in a mains-powered wand. They plug into your socket in every sense, and vibrate (or, in the case of the Eroscillator, oscillate) very quickly, and very powerfully.
Why mains-powered wands are great sex toys for the over 50s
They’re strong, reliable, and often able to generate orgasms when all else has failed. Some mains massagers can also be used to soothe aching necks or stiff backs. Sexually, wands are designed to stimulate the clitoris and vulva but men can use them too—they’re great for massaging the perineum to stimulate the prostate.
Cons of mains-powered wands
They’re more expensive than other toys, but they usually last for decades.
This is the crème de la crème of sex toys and if you only buy one toy, buy this. The Eroscillator is a hand-held wand with a selection of different attachments, each designed to stimulate you in a different way. It’s quiet, easy to use, and has three speed settings.
"If you only buy one toy, buy the Eroscillator"
What sets the Eroscillator apart from all other toys is that it doesn’t vibrate, it oscillates rapidly from side to side. That produces an extremely intense sensation without ever making you numb. It’s great for multiple orgasms and can be used on men to stimulate the frenulum, perineum and testicles.
Clitoral suction toys
These clever toys fit over your clitoris and deliver a range of sucking and pulsing sensations, very similar to oral sex. They’re rechargeable, quiet, and start from £35.
Why clitoral suction toys are great sex toys for the over 50s
As oestrogen levels fall during menopause, your vulva can change. The skin can lose some of its natural plumpness, become thinner and more dry, and your clitoris can shrink and become less sensitive. Traditional vibrators might not work as well—you might find them too aggressive against your newly delicate bits, or not strong enough to feel anything other than annoying. Clitoral suction toys deliver persistent, targeted stimulation, long after a human partner would have given up and gone to sleep.
Cons of clitoral suction toys
Everyone’s clitoris is a different size, so you might find yours doesn’t fit neatly inside every toy. (Some toys come with a selection of different heads to help you get the perfect fit.) Also, these toys can be on the bulky side, meaning they get in the way during sex.
Made from recycled ocean plastics, this waterproof, rechargeable toy is coated in a silky-smooth later of silicone. It has 10 different settings so you can experience a range of sequences and strengths. Very quiet to use.
These small (about the size of a lipstick) vibrators can be used to stimulate the clitoris, vulva, nipples or penis. They start from around £10 for a battery-powered version, or £25 for a rechargeable.
Why bullet vibrators are great sex toys for the over 50s
Bullet vibrators are the perfect beginner’s sex toy. They’re like your first car: small, cheap and they get you there. But after a while, you might start longing for something more luxurious.
"Bullet vibrators are the perfect beginner’s sex toy"
They’re ideal to take on holiday, as they’re discreet enough to slip past any luggage X-Ray, and quiet enough not to wake up everyone else in the caravan. Their compact size means you can easily hold them against your clitoris during sex.
Cons of bullet vibrators
They’re small, which can make them fiddly to turn on or off, or hard to hold if you’ve got arthritis. The more powerful bullets can feel annoyingly sharp and buzzy, which might be more “argh” than “aah”.
This fully waterproof, rechargeable toy is chunky for a bullet, meaning you have slightly more surface area to work with. It’s also quiet and waterproof, so you could get filthy in your bubble bath and nobody would know.
Strokers are flexible sheaths, usually made out of silicone, that you slide over your penis while you masturbate. They’re textured to increase the sensation and need to be used with a water-based lubricant. They start at £10.
Why strokers are great sex toys for the over 50s
Couples’ sex drives aren’t always in perfect sync, especially over the age of 50. Health issues, family demands or just a particularly gripping Bridgerton can all put sex on the back burner. If you’d like to turn up the heat on that burner, use a stroker when you masturbate. The textured sleeves deliver varied sensations and can be used on an erect or flaccid penis. Some inexpensive strokers (like the Tenga Egg, £9.99) are designed to be single-use, but others are reusable. Some even come with a carry-case for the busy fiddler on the go. Strokers can also be used in foreplay, or to tease out another erection during a non-stop night.
Cons of penis strokers
Although stretchy, most strokers are strictly one size, and the bigger gentlemen might not fit. Can be noisy in action, or torn if you’re particularly frenzied.
The Ghost stroker has a different texture on each side, giving you a choice of sensations. It comes with a carry case that will sit innocently on your bedside table without alarming even the most eagle-eyed cleaner. Reusable, easy to clean.
Penis rings are small, round rings made of silicone, rubber or metal, that you slide over your flaccid penis or your penis and testicles. When you become aroused, the rings apply pressure to your blood vessels to slow blood flow out of your genitals, keeping your erection locked in for longer.
"A penis ring is an easy way to treat ED"
Some penis rings also have features—like vibration, beads or clitoral stimulators—that deliver extra sensations to your partner during sex. Prices start at around £2 for simple silicone rings, rising to £15 for more gadgety versions.
Why penis rings are great sex toys for the over 50s
Over half of men aged between 50 and 70 suffer from some erectile dysfunction, caused by low testosterone, high cholesterol, heart disease, or medication. A penis ring is an easy way to treat ED and can be used alone or with any other treatment (like Viagra, or a penis pump). Penis rings are also just a fun addition to your sex life.
Cons of penis rings
The inexpensive silicone versions are one size, which can mean they’re too restrictive (which is dangerous) or too loose (which is ineffective). Look for an adjustable ring to get the perfect fit, or get a range of sizes.
Try this: BASICS Triple Penis Ring Set (£6.99)
Three different-sized rings can be worn separately or together, and all have textured beads to stimulate your partner during sex.
Flavoured, warming, menthol, cooling, tingly…There is now a lube for every different sensation you might want to experience. They can transform your solo or partnered sex sessions, intensify your orgasms and prolong your performance.
Why lubes are great sex toys for the over 50s
Women can find they produce less natural lubrication after menopause, meaning sex becomes uncomfortable. Other post-menopausal changes, like vaginal atrophy, can also make the vagina narrower and shorter, requiring more foreplay to make sex possible. Lube is a wonderful way to manage both those conditions—but it’s also great for men, too. If you suffer from premature ejaculation, lube can help by slightly desensitizing your penis, making you last longer. It’s also essential for anal sex. Plus, changing lubes is an easy way to switch up the sensations you both feel. A tingling lubricant (like Tracey Cox’s Supersex Orgasm Gel, £9.99) is especially stimulating.
Cons of lubricants
Not every lubricant is suitable for every type of sex.
Oil-based lubes: Great for external play, and often contain skin-nourishing ingredients like almond oil and vitamin E which are soothing to menopausal bits. However, not suitable for internal application, or with condoms.
Water-based lubes: Good all-rounders as they can be used internally and externally, as well as with condoms and all sex toys. However, they don’t last as long as other, thicker, lubes, and can’t be used in water, if you’re planning to break that No Petting rule in the swimming pool.
Silicone lubes: Long-lasting, waterproof and safe for internal use, silicone lubes are also safe with most condoms. Avoid using them with silicone or jelly sex toys, though, as they could damage them.
Some ingredients commonly found in lubricants can be bad for your bits, especially as you get older. During and after menopause, our vagina’s pH level changes, making us more susceptible to infections. Glycerine can cause bacterial growth, thrush or urinary tract infections. Citric Acid, parabens and benzyl alcohol can cause itching or burning. If possible, use an organic lube, like The Natural Love Company’s Wild Strawberry Lube, £14.95.
For more sex tips, visit Kate’s website at https://lovekatetaylor.com
*This post contains affiliate links, so we may earn a small commission when you make a purchase through links on our site at no additional cost to you.
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