How to stop procrastinating and make a start
BY Dr David Burns
28th Sep 2023 Inspire
6 min read
Procrastinating is as much about fear as it is motivation. This five-step plan will prompt even the most stubborn procrastinator into facing the task at hand
An executive had just retired at the age of 52 from a
job at a large corporation. With the lion's share of
his savings, he purchased a small confectionery
company. Although the firm was only breaking even, he
believed that with his marketing skills, it could grow and prosper.
Surprisingly, despite these high hopes, he soon began
to neglect his business. Instead of going to the office each
morning, he would dawdle at home or run unimportant
errands—anything to delay going to work. In the meantime, his company was foundering from lack of
leadership.
Like the executive, many of us find ourselves procrastinating from time to time. In an American survey of 342
university students, nearly half admitted they procrastinated when writing essays. Though the reasons varied,
the most frequent explanation was fear of failure.
"Whatever the chore, putting it off often becomes a bigger problem than actually doing it"
In the executive's case, he'd never been totally in
charge of a business before, and the responsibility
terrified him. His fears had become so exaggerated that he saw himself going bankrupt
and losing the love and respect of his
wife and son.
When we talked through his fears,
he realised how unrealistic they were.
Even if his company failed, he knew
he would still be able to support his
family financially.
More important,
he agreed that his wife and son would
never reject him simply because they
were going through difficult times. In
fact, adversity would probably bring
them closer together.
Relieved, he returned to work. One
week later he was developing an
innovative marketing system to place
his confectionery in dozens of new
shops.
Perhaps you have avoided paying
bills, outlining a proposal or asking
someone out. Whatever the chore,
putting it off often becomes a bigger
problem than actually doing it.
Whether you're a dedicated procrastinator or merely stuck in a temporary
rut, here are five tips to get you
moving again.
1. Expect difficulties
Those who
procrastinate often assume that successful people achieve their goals
without frustration, self-doubt and
failure. This is unrealistic. Highly
productive people know that life is
frustrating. They assume they'll
encounter obstacles; when they do,
they persevere until they overcome
them.
My daughter, Signe, was not doing
well in chemistry at school. Frustrated by her inability to master her
science set-book quickly, she put off
studying until the night before an
exam. Consequently, she barely
scraped through.
"Highly productive people know that life is frustrating"
When we discussed the problem, I
explained that I often had difficulty
learning things. To prove my point, I
showed her a chapter from a statistics
book I'd been studying for over a year
but still didn't understand very well.
Signe could see how worn and underlined the pages were. I told her that
my slow progress didn't frustrate me,
because I expected the work to be difficult and knew I'd understand a little
more each time I read the chapter.
Once she accepted this, she began
to think about chemistry as a challenge instead of an enemy. Her
moods and studying habits improved
enormously.
2. What's the bottom line?
When
you're ducking an important task,
weigh the advantages of procrastinating against the disadvantages.
For
example, a medical student told me
he procrastinated about nearly everything, including getting out of bed in
the morning. Instead of studying and
going to lectures, he'd wander around
talking to friends all day and work on
computer projects into the night.
Although popular and talented, he
was on the verge of dropping out.
At my request, he listed the advantages of his procrastination: (a) It's
fun to stay up late and then sleep in,
(b) I can talk to my friends instead of
studying, (e) I don't have to face the
anxiety of going to class and finding
out how far behind I am, and (d) I can
rebel against my parents for trying to
pressure me to become a doctor like
Dad.
"You may learn that there are good reasons why you avoid doing something"
He was able to list only three
disadvantages for not getting to his
work: (a) I will get kicked out, (b) I
feel anxious and guilty, and (c) My
life is going nowhere.
After reviewing his list, he took a
leave of absence and worked for a
year to decide what he really wanted
out of life. Ultimately he realised that
he had gone "on strike" because he
resented his parents' control of his
life.
When he returned a year later, he
had sorted out his priorities. He went
on to become a top student in computer technology.
When you list the advantages of
procrastinating, you may learn that
there are good reasons why you avoid
doing something. If this is the case,
you may need to re-evaluate your
goals.
3. Little steps for big feats
Most
procrastinators tell themselves, "I'll
wait until I'm in the mood." Let's
face it: you're never going to feel like
balancing your cheque-book or
cleaning up the mess on your desk.
These are boring, unpleasant tasks.
Sometimes you simply have to prime
the pump to get yourself going.
One way to do this is to break your
job into steps that can be accomplished bit by bit. Get into the here
and now, and don't worry about
everything you have to do in the
future. Life exists one minute at a
time, so all you have to do at any
given time is one minute's worth of
work. That's not so hard, is it?
"Life exists one minute at a time"
A while ago, I found my office in
disarray because I had no filing
system. To make matters worse, my
secretary left unexpectedly, and I was
faced with roomfuls of disorganised
financial records, clinical files and
computer printouts.
I felt so anxious just thinking
about the magnitude of the clean-up
that I tried to put it from my mind.
Finally I told myself, "This will take
months to sort out. Instead of trying to clean everything up at once,
work at it five minutes at a time. If
I do those five minutes, then I can
stop with a clear conscience."
Once
I took that first small step, I discovered the job wasn't nearly as
bad as I thought.
4. Tune out negative thoughts
Finding a publisher for my first book,
Feeling Good, a self-help book on
depression, was a tremendous chore.
I was an unknown author, and in
addition the first draft of my manuscript was dull and long-winded.
Ultimately I found a publishing house
and an editor, Maria Guarnaschelli,
whom I really liked. Maria showed
me how to rewrite the book so it
would sound more lively and appealing. She also told me it would become
a bestseller.
I went home with Maria's accolades ringing in my ears, but for
some reason I was discouraged. For
ten days, I sat at my desk unable to
come up with one good new sentence.
I couldn't work out what was
bothering me.
Finally I reached for a sheet of paper and wrote down my negative
thoughts: "This book has to be a
bestseller. But I'm a psychiatrist, not
an author, and I don't know how to
write a bestseller. Maria will be disappointed in me."
"When you're avoiding a task, it may be because you're feeding yourself unrealistic, negative messages"
The moment I got the thought on
paper, I felt a flood of relief—I knew
my fears were irrational. I realised it
wasn't my job to write a bestseller. I
could, however, write a helpful book
if I wrote it in the same personal style
that I used with my patients. How
well the book sold was the publisher's
responsibility.
Once I changed my
negative thoughts, energy returned,
and over the next several months I
revised Feeling Good with great
enthusiasm.
When you're avoiding a task, it
may be because you're feeding
yourself unrealistic, negative messages. By writing them down, you
have a chance of dispelling them.
5. Give yourself credit
Once
you've begun a job you've been
avoiding, it's important to give
yourself credit as you go along. A
mental reward will boost your
motivation. Too often people discount their accomplishments and
focus on what they haven't been able
to do.
A woman I know once told me that
she worked hard all day. While trying
to care for two young sons, she was
also taking evening classes for a
degree. Because of her crowded
schedule, the woman never got all her
chores done. At the end of each day,
she would ruminate on the tasks she
hadn't completed.
One evening, I suggested that she
jot down everything she had done that
day. It took 15 minutes, and the list
was impressiVe. She'd studied for
several hours, paid bills, cleaned the
house, driven her children to school
and swimming lessons, shopped and
prepared dinner.
"Until she sat back and reviewed her list, she had no idea how incredibly productive she'd been"
Yet until she sat
back and reviewed her list, she had no
idea how incredibly productive she'd
been.
We usually think of rewards as
coming from the outside. A compliment for a job well done feels
good. Getting a high mark on a test
or making a sale to a difficult customer can be highly motivating. But
ultimately, all rewards must come
from within.
If you never allow yourself to feel
satisfied with your efforts, you'll
soon find it pointless to try. So, no
matter how small the achievement,
give yourself credit. Then you can
tackle your toughest task. Simply
begin now.
Adapted from The Feeling Good Handbook, ©MS by David Burns, MD, published by William Morrow &
Company, Inc, New York
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