5 Simple ways to help a sexless marriage

Marriage isn’t always a straightforward and easy-to-navigate road, and often couples face various challenges that can put strain on different aspects of their relationship—including intimacy. One of the most common issues faced by couples of all ages is a sexless marriage, which can lead to dissatisfaction and emotional distance between two individuals.

Below, we look at expert insights into the matter to help couples going through a sexless marriage to address any concerns. Sex therapist Melissa Cook at Sofia Gray and FunWithFeet reveals her five tips that are sure to reignite the flame and spark a little intimacy into your relationship, once and for all.

Communication is important in any relationship, especially those that could be experiencing difficulties. In sexless marriages, individuals typically find it hard to explain how they’re feeling as well as talk about their desires, interests, fears and even concerns. This is why it’s so important to prioritise communication and create a safe space where everyone feels like they can talk about how they’re feeling, and that they’ll be heard.

To do this effectively, I recommend setting aside some time for honest communication. Urge each other to use "I" statements and don’t blame each other. It’s also important to practise open listening so you can fully understand your partner’s perspective.  

Intimacy isn’t just about physical experiences in the bedroom. In fact, often, the best sexual relationships stem from a strong emotional connection outside of the bedroom. This is even more crucial in long-term relationships where it’s natural for the spark and lust to fade or for it to get trapped behind family responsibilities.

To reignite your emotional connection, consider activities that will help you to bond. This might be a date night, quality time together on the sofa or even a shared hobby. Working on your emotional connection, away from physical intimacy, will naturally have a positive impact on your sexual relationship, making it more meaningful and satisfying.

One of the biggest causes of a sexless marriage is monotony, which is why I encourage couples to be adventurous when it comes to intimacy.

From trying new positions and different forms of touch to incorporating fantasy role play and dirty talk into the relationship, there are various ways you can introduce variety into your sexual routine and make it more exciting. This can help to break the cycle of predictability, too, which could add to overall sexual dissatisfaction.  

You should never be afraid or embarrassed to ask for help and getting advice from a professional sex therapist can do wonders for your relationship. Sex therapy will not only help you to identify and address underlying issues but also help you to explore the root cause for concern, offering insights and tips to help you through.

Sexual therapy can be the transformative step towards a better and more meaningful connection with your other half so if you do need help, don’t be afraid to ask.

Few realise that a sexless marriage could also be caused by a lack of physical and mental self-care within both partners, which is why it’s so important for individuals to dedicate time to both. You might want to enjoy personal interests and maintain a healthy lifestyle with exercise and relaxation. Alternatively, you may believe that seeking therapy individually is key, too.

Either way, when we are happy and content as individuals, this significantly impacts the energy we bring into our relationships. Positive energy can contribute to a positive and intimate atmosphere.

A sexless marriage can have huge effects on individuals and couples, emotionally and mentally. It can lead to feelings of isolation and rejection and impact the overall connection between two people. This can have a direct link to satisfaction and overall happiness, which can manifest into distrust, anxiety and even poor self-esteem. However, there is a solution, and professional help is available too.

If you are currently experiencing sexless marriage, just know that it is a very common challenge that can be addressed with open and honest communication, a focus on emotional connection, adventure, wellbeing and self-care, and professional guidance. By implementing the above tips, couples can reignite the flame in their sex life and get back onto a path of a more fulfilling and connected intimate relationship.