15 Lies all teenagers tell

By Anne Roumanoff — Anne is a well-known French humorist who lives in Paris

1. But Mum, I promise you, everyone scored lower than average on that awful math test!

2. But of course I gave you the change from the shopping! There was hardly anything left anyway, five or ten pounds … I don’t really remember.

3. I didn’t do anything, I swear. No, I didn’t look at my phone during class. That teacher just doesn’t like me.

4. No, it’s wasn’t me who borrowed your cashmere sweater.

5. Would you please pay for my swimming pool membership? It won’t be like tennis last year, I’ll go every week, I promise. It’s only £250 per quarter.

6. Of course I told you I was going out. Anyway, you never listen to me when I tell you something.

7. You look so lovely and young dressed like that, Mum. Would you give me £30 so I can go shopping with my friends?

8. Don’t worry, I never drink alcohol at parties, except for mojitos.

9. But I am! I’m going to tidy my room right away.

10. I’m not mucking about on the internet at all. I’m actually watching a film about the Second World War, so why don’t you try asking me before you tell me off?

11. Sorry I didn’t come right away, but I couldn’t hear anything with my headphones on.

12. Why are you shouting like that? I was just about to tidy my room.

13. I’m going to spend the night at a girlfriend’s. Well, he’s a male friend. But yes, his parents are at home, I think.

14. Chiara’s mother lets her stay out until three in the morning.

15. I tried to call you to let you know I was coming home late, but I didn’t have any battery left.