Hilarious London jokes to get you laughing on the tube
18th Mar 2024 Humour
5 min read
A collection of jokes about London
London is a a lot of things to a lot of people, being one of the biggest and most populous cities in Europe for one. It's also one of the most diverse cities in the world, with hundreds of languages spoken and a true melting pot of cultures and styles.
From random sightings of camels, to entertaining street buskers, London can be just a bit random at times with a sprawling spirit that reflects its nature. So if you're enjoyed our British jokes or Scottish jokes, here are a few London jokes to give you a chuckle whether you're a born and bred Londoner or newer to the city.
1. What did the Londoner say to his friend visiting from America, when he panicked about a 5 minute tube wait?
Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner.
- seen on the internet
2. Why did the chicken cross the North Circular Road?
To get from Finchley to Hendon.
- seen on the internet
Ryanair CEO Michael O'Leary
3. Why don't you get many theatres in west London?
Because there's not much to Acton.
- seen on the internet
4. I was asked to run today's London marathon.
I said I'm flattered but I don't believe I could organise such a big event.
- seen on the internet
5. My friend always went the extra mile at work.
That's why he lost his job as a London taxi driver!
- seen on the internet
credit: oneperfectdayblog.net
6. 'I should be in Greenwich tomorrow' one friend said to another.
'Not sure what to do in the mean time!'
- seen on the internet
7. A tourist asked me how to get to Heathrow via Barking.
So I pointed at a map and woofed!
- seen on the internet
8. I went to northwest London once
It was a harrowing experience.
- seen on the internet
credit: meme guy
9. A Londoner once brought a ladder to a pub
He heard drinks were on the house!
- seen on the internet
10. Why is the Thames River so rich?
It has a lot of banks.
- seen on the internet
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