I like my section around escorting and feminism because I offer quite a different outlook. It’s funny but it deals with a taboo subject too.

I did a weird play with one of my best mates, where I was dressed up as a garden gnome, and a man tried to steal some of our set. My friend rugby-tackled him to the floor and then just carried on with the show…

Loads of comedians—from Victoria Wood to Richard Pryor—but theatre has inspired me too, especially the drag artist David Hoyle.

I always liked Spike Milligan’s epitaph. It says, “I told you I was ill…” That’s a joke that lasts forever.

I once did a performance where there were only three people in the audience. One of them was sat there wearing their pyjamas, which was a little soul-destroying.

Theresa May. It would be interesting to see if she takes her skin off at night.

I’ve always fancied Bernard’s Watch. You could freeze time whenever you were late or needed lunch…