4 Sexy Valentine’s Day hotels

Sure, you could go down the flowers or chocolate route. Sweet, safe, tried, tested. But isn’t there something powerfully seductive about the idea of spending Valentine’s Day’s closing hours locked away in a lavish hotel bedroom? Just think of that pristine, plump-pillowed double bed, positively begging to be rumpled. Throw in the cinematic release of Fifty Shades of Grey, and hotel hanky-panky is sure to top of many ardent couples’ to-do list come 14 February. But where to pick? Here are four steamy options.

Here’s a suggestion for couples whose tastes are very… singular. To celebrate Christian and Anastasia’s arrival at the flicks, luxury Edinburgh boutique Nira Caledonia has dreamt up a two-night Valentine’s package for guests of its Jacuzzi Suites. While champers, round-the-clock butler service, couple’s massages and an aphrodisiac tasting menu with wine or whiskey pairings are included, the headline act is a Fifty Shades of Grey goody bag containing, among other kinky curiosities, fluffy handcuffs, blindfolds, masks, a feather tickler and – stop giggling at the back – a spanking ruler. niracaledonia.com

Hidden amid Paris’s elegant Marais quarter, this secret hotel’s chief watchword is anonymity. Hence chambers named after famous pseudonyms, and the lack of almost any frontage. All eight rooms and suites are romantic, but the charcoal and taupe-hued Saint Léger Léger suite is extra-amorous. Here, couples can sip fizz on their private balcony, dim suspension lamps to a suitably soft glow and, when the time is right, frolic below a leather marquetry headboard… A special Be My Valentine package throws in Deutz champagne, red roses, Pierre Hermé macarons and breakfast-in-bed.Be My Valentine costs €830; hoteldupondsmith.com

Holland’s capital is synonymous with liberal behaviour, perhaps explaining why only glass panels separate shower cubicles from beds in some quarters of eastern Amsterdam’s Volkshotel. Opened last year inside former newspaper offices, this artsy residence also offers the suggestively-named Soixante Neuf room, where a suspended bed is overlooked by a couples’ bathtub. Occupying the building’s top floor (with outdoor terrace) is Canvas, a restaurant and popular nightclub where the city’s beautiful creatures gather on weekends; and in its basement is Doka, a sensual cocktail den replete with shadowy corners. volkshotel.nl

Allowing ordinarily-well-behaved partners to experience a quick glug of Grey-esque seediness, by-the-hour hotels are experiencing a surge in popularity. While Paris and London options are predictable, the classical, steadfastly-romantic city of Vienna makes a more unlikely location for such kicks. Yet its debauched Hotel Orient – where “the use of an alias is common” – unapologetically sells room for three-hour slots. That includes inside the velvety Kaisersuite, racily described as a “performance venue” and complete with heavy lace curtains, Baroque-style mirrors and a canopied bed. What’s that? Yes, plain old overnight stays are also possible. Yawn. hotel-orient.at