How to maintain an intimate relationship during lockdown

With lockdown looking as if it’s here to stay for at least a few more weeks, many couples are finding themselves in unwitting long-distance relationships—or at least temporarily long-distance relationships. Whether you’re in a new romance or have been with your partner for years, it can be challenging to navigate this new dynamic, especially when we have little-to-no control over the circumstances surrounding us.  

Whether you’re looking to spice things up, to keep the momentum of your relationship moving forward, or to simply learn how to be intimate remotely, you’ll need a few tips as a starting point. Mia Sabat, sex therapist at the sexual wellbeing audio app for women, Emjoy, gives her advice on maintaining intimacy and keeping spirits high, no matter the stage of your relationship.  

Maybe you’ve always wanted to try Lebanese food together, or you’ve been excited to cook your partner’s favourite meal but haven’t had the chance. Pour a glass of wine, dress up in something special, and cook the same meal together over video call to make it feel like you’re in the same room.  

Thoughtful, romantic attention and some well-earned alone time will be sure to brighten up both your days and build intimacy between you and your partner, while lending a much-needed break to your routine. Let the sexual chemistry build throughout the meal as you flirt remotely, perhaps hinting at the surprise dessert not listed on the menu…

Take advantage of social distancing by doing the unexpected! Since you know your partner will be on their own, rather than with colleagues or friends, there is no reason to avoid interrupting their day with a little excitement.  

Try sending a sultry text message in the middle of the working day to catch your partner by surprise. Or, if you and your partner enjoy sharing consensual, intimate photos, why not up the ante? Put on something that makes you feel confident and sexy and send them some exciting snaps that you know will get them hot and bothered!  

This is a great way to spice up a slow afternoon, while also letting your partner know you want them any time of the day. This is sure to drive them wild and make them feel extra special—whilst making you feel sexy at the same time.   

We all have fantasies and exploring them while apart can be exciting and enjoyable. Before you get going, make sure you speak with your partner about their fantasies, preferences, and what they’d like to explore to make sure you’re both comfortable and on the same page. Once boundaries are set, you’re free to begin!  

If you’ve always considered role play, why not try pretending you are someone else, experimenting with phone sex whilst taking on another persona? If you’re new to mutual masturbation, why not dabble in a little dirty talk to test the waters?  

If you’re not sure where to start, I recommend asking your partner what they like, describing what you’d like to do to your partner, complimenting your partner, telling your partner what you like, and only saying things you’re comfortable with—the pleasure will flow from there.  

When exploring one another’s fantasies, agree to have fun without judgements and let yourself go. You’ll be glad you did!

There are many ways you can experience sensuality together when you’re unable to physically be in the same place. Try thinking of remote activities you both enjoy, and can participate in, over video chat. Set aside an hour to meet for a bubble bath and play with yourself while speaking with your partner and pretending they are there touching you, to make the moment feel even more authentic.  

If a bath isn’t an option, try sharing a massage with your partner. Let them tell you what to do and where to touch yourself, before switching things up and doing the same for them. Not only will you feel more relaxed than ever, but you’ll ease yourself into virtual sensuality and, by the end of your evening, it will feel like it’s second nature.  

Games are fun at any age. Enjoy a virtual pub quiz together, or even try remote-Scrabble, a little competitive spirit will be sure to lift both your moods and will lead to some flirtatious fun.  

If you want to turn up the heat up a notch, my favourite picks to play on or off camera include truth or dare, never have I ever, and strip poker. Need I say more? 

At a time where everything around us is changing, our emotions and needs are likely to fluctuate more than ever. Don’t be afraid to check in with one another to maintain your feelings of emotional intimacy, too.  

Learning about your Love Languages, or going through intimate questions like the 36 questions that lead to love can help maintain and grow emotional closeness, helping to forge an even stronger connection between you and your partner, ensuring that all areas of your relationship are being looked after, so you both feel truly cared for.  

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