7 Unspoken signs someone’s in love with you
People in love can’t leave their hair alone, for several reasons. The first is comfort. When we’re nervous — perhaps because we’re close to someone we like, and whom we want to impress — we look for small, simple ways to calm ourselves down. Hair-stroking is very common. If someone near you is unconsciously stroking and smoothing their hair, especially near the back of their head, they’re anxious. If you’re on a date, this would be a good time to suggest the next date. If it’s a long-term partner, it’s a good time to bring them a cuppa and ask if they’re OK.
Another reason people play with their hair is to signal they’re open to flirting: women often flick and twirl the ends of their hair in a seductive manner, to signal they’re in the mood for romance. Men do this too, but raising their hand to play with their hair is often just a simple, unconscious desire to look taller.
Read more: How to flirt without fear
When you catch sight of your date across a crowded room, watch their eyebrows: if they give a brief, sudden lift, they’re attracted to you. The “eyebrow flash” is an incredibly reliable signal of sexual attraction, but you have to watch it closely: most eyebrows flashes are over and done within one fifth of a second. People also use raising their eyebrows as a question — a stranger might raise their eyebrows at you briefly to (unconsciously) ask if you’re attracted to them; if you raise your own eyebrows in return, you’re answering, “Yes.”
Read more: Discover your love language
Pupil dilation is a dead giveaway of genuine interest, because it’s controlled by our sympathetic nervous system. This part of our brain is primal, and deals with what psychologists call the “three Fs”: Fight, Flight, or (ahem) Frolicking. Studies have revealed that our pupils dilate when we are shown images of things that arouse us.
So, if your date’s pupils dilate across the dinner table, they’re either desperately attached to you, or just seriously starving! Interestingly, we also find dilated pupils attractive in other people—probably because it’s a flattering sign of interest. That’s the reason most dating hotspots, like bars and restaurants, use dim lighting.
Read more: How to love them without losing you
When we’re feeling passionate about something, or somebody, our nostrils often flare uncontrollably. In fact, the sensitive tissues in our noses are often stimulated by strong feelings, which is one reason why we rub or play with our nose when we’re lying. Poker Players often try “read” each other’s noses during a high-stakes game, as we flare our nostrils when we’re excited (like when we’ve got the winning hand).
The more somebody smiles in your presence, the more they’re feeling natural, warm feelings of love…unless they’re a man. Studies have shown that men with naturally high levels of testosterone smile less than other people, even in relationships. This is one of the reasons why women often find stern, brooding male faces (think moody Mr Darcy, or poe-faced Poldarke) sexy. But on women, smiling is almost always a giveaway of affection.
When someone finds you sexy, but isn’t in love with you, they will smile lightly less than usual, but they will lick, bite or play with their lips instead.
In the popular song, Shakira sang, “Hips don’t lie!” And in body-language terms, she’s right. We tend to point our hips—and our reproductive organs!—towards people we’re sexually attracted to. If someone points their hips towards you, uncrossing their arms so their whole body is “open”—in scientific terms, you’re well in.
Men have a habit of drawing attention to their hips to increase interest: when a man stands with his hands in his trouser pocket, but his thumbs hanging out, over the edge of the pockets, he is unconsciously directly your gaze towards his nether regions.
Like our hips, our feet point towards where we want the rest of our body to follow. (This is such a telling giveaway that I used this all the time when I was dating.) Because they’re the furthest extremity of our body, we actually control our feet far less than the rest of us. So feet reveal our deepest, darkest desires.
When you’re with your date, see if they point their feet towards you when you’re talking. If they do, then your date literally wants to follow you everywhere. But if they turn their face towards you while their feet point longingly towards the doorway, I’m afraid it’s not good news. Time for you to point your own toes towards new pastures—and don’t forget to flash your eyebrows when you get there!