Diamanda Galás: “If I Ruled the World”

The avant-garde American musician and visual artist shares her unique vision of the world she would rule

The last aspiration I would ever have is to be in charge of a group of human animals. My work is seen as political; in truth, I explore paradigms in some of my compositions. I explore society's reactions to stigma, for example. Or I explore a tortured man's reaction to his cage.

 This does not mean that I am a politico. I have a sufficient amount of misanthropy to cover that job, but no ambition. Imagine wasting your life herding animals around. 

These rules seem reasonable, if ungenerous:

Drinking and brainlessly following a crowd around will be prohibited. If you do not know what you are doing and why you are doing it, then you are trespassing. Albeit humans are only one egg removed from parrots and donkeys, trespassing is punishable by law. Looters shall be enslaved by the kings of sodomy and their positions mandated.

Maths will be required. Intelligence is measured by the ability to form analogies. This type of thinking is best engendered by the study of maths. Every group on the planet is capable of maths. In Nigeria, there are contests every year to determine the next queen or king of maths. In the US, citizens are taught that maths is racist. 

The leaders point to the wheelbarrow and smile.

Greek and Egyptian citizens will be accorded the respect of being considered indigenous to their own lands. Cleopatra was and is Greek, will be Greek tomorrow, and will be Greek when the last of your family has expired. There are lots of queens in the world, honey. You can be your own Queen of May. Don't even think of claiming ours. 

Before visiting Greece as a tourist, a visitor will be asked to give money to one Greek citizen organisation assisting the older citizens of Greece,who are now dying in droves. Greece is tired of being the ashtray of the world.

"Intelligence is measured by the ability to form analogies"

Diamanda Galás performing in New York in 1983

Tax money will more markedly reflect the needs of the elderly. The old will be let out of their cages once a week and given pitchforks and stilettos with which to visit the homes of their children.

Any attempt to brutalise those over 80 years old will result in a life sentence or public execution. They are the gold of all cultures and must be treated with respect. Attacks upon them are heretical.

During COVID there were many attacks upon 80 year-old Chinese-American citizens in the USA. The murders of the most elderly inhabitants of COVID-invaded nursing homes numbered more than one-third of deaths from COVID.

Unwilling non-vaccinants will be escorted to underground pits, installed in crates, and allowed to compete for God's will.

Women's Health Care research funding will increase by 200 per cent. Women die because the primary research is conducted with the male sex in mind. For this reason, women do not become aware of the malignant progression of disease until too late, specifically heart disease, which does not look like male heart disease.

Returning soldiers to the US wlll be paid immediately upon their return home. They will have access to facilities for Veterans if they have come back seriously wounded. The family are not composed of health care workers, and it is impossible for a mother or wife to be a full-time nurse.

The ruse of accepting only drug-free soldiers in Veteran's Homes is entirely unacceptable, the military has always experimented upon soldiers in order to develop titration levels of the most efficient-though damaging-uppers for sustained attack during warfare, and opiates for recovery in between stagings. 

And the greedy will wake up in maggots.

Diamanda Galás’ reissue of her 1984 self-titled album comes out on October 29 via Intravenal Sound Operations

Read more: Interview: Joyce DiDonato

Read more: Edward Gardner: Records that changed my life

Keep up with the top stories from Reader's Digest by subscribing to our weekly newsletter