I tell a true story about when Vladimir Putin and I fought a bear together on Russian tundra. We’d been taking part in a Shamanic ritual with a tribe of Siberian nomads and were hallucinating on psychedelic reindeer urine—which is what they use as the central sacrament in their rituals—and we ended up having a wrestling match with a bear.

Everything can inspire it, you just look around you. Performers who’ve inspired me would be a long list but, Richard Pryor, Billy Connolly, Stephen Colbert, Victoria Wood... I think it’s people who’ve got an edge but also a sense of joy.

Glasgow is really fun to play because they’ve got a very broad range of receptivity, so if they connect with you they’ll laugh right across the spectrum from really clever and satirical through to broad and silly.

There’s an Irish comedian called Michael Redmond who has such an absurd line, he says, “People often say to me, ‘Hey! What are you doing in my garden?’ ”

The power to emit silent, disgusting farts which I could guide through telekinesis exclusively to people talking too loudly on their phones on public transport.

I’d like to be a fly on the wall in Boris Johnson’s house. Firstly because it would be interesting to hear what he really thought, and secondly because, given what flies eat, I’d never starve.

Nick Revell is touring now with his Radio 4 series, BrokenDreamCatcher until April 17, 2019. Go to nickrevell.com for more information and tickets