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Sex life and impotence: how to enjoy intimacy


1st Jan 2015 Health Conditions

Sex life and impotence: how to enjoy intimacy

Impotence can be a source of great embarrassment and anxiety for men affected by the condition. There are several ways a couple can maintain their intimate relationship, which will help to remain close even if full sexual contact is difficult.

Don’t suffer in silence

Impotence should never be suffered in silence as both parties in a couple are affected by the condition.

Perhaps the most important step for a couple is to talk openly about their feelings, without apportioning blame. Understanding the needs of your partner is important if a couple is to agree a shared approach to resolving the problem of impotency. It is also important that the partner of the sufferer is reassured that a lack of desire is not the cause of the problem.

Create opportunities to spend time together

It’s hard to be open and honest about your feelings when constantly disturbed by children or work calls. Plan some intimate ‘together time’ that stops short of sexual contact, such as enjoying a romantic dinner, sharing a relaxing bath or taking a gentle stroll in the countryside.

If circumstances allow, you could even book a weekend away as a couple, perhaps revisiting some old haunts from the early days of your relationship, but agree in advance that full sexual intercourse need not be on the agenda, so that neither party feels placed under undue pressure.

Be creative

A healthy sex life is possible even without penetrative sex and this could be a great opportunity to experiment with untried practices to discover what you both enjoy. Touching, foreplay, oral sex and toys can all be arousing and satisfying, even for a couple for whom impotence is a problem.

Advice and ideas can be sought from a range of books, DVDs and websites but do remember not to pressure your partner (or yourself) into engaging in any practices which you find distasteful or embarrassing. Take your time and don’t expect miracles to happen too quickly.

Seek professional help if needed

If you find that discussing your feelings only leads to arguments and recriminations, seek help from a professional relationship counsellor, rather than letting the rot set in.

An expert in the field can help you to share your opinions more constructively and to create opportunities for genuine intimacy, rather than leaving you to press on alone.

Remember, many couples who have experienced erectile dysfunction report how their intimate lives improve as a result of the condition because the focus on penetrative sex is eliminated and they must find alternative ways to achieve sexual wellbeing.

Being honest and patient with your partner and rediscovering what makes each other tick is just as important and will help you both to enjoy a physical, loving relationship which is mutually satisfying.

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