5 things to remember when you are struggling to conceive

Trying to get pregnant is an exciting time for many, but it can also be extremely stressful and upsetting if you’re struggling to conceive. 

Whether you’ve experienced a miscarriage, have been trying unsuccessfully for a long time, or have just started fertility treatments, it’s very easy to worry that you may never become a parent.

That’s why we’ve gathered five things to remember when you’re struggling to conceive: 

1.  It’s not your fault

All too often, people who are struggling to conceive blame themselves. 

Maybe you think that it’s something you’ve done, maybe you feel like your body is broken or worthless in some way. It feels like your fault; if only you had done this or done that… Surely there was something you could have done or changed? 

There really isn’t — a lot of fertility problems are either not preventable or not predictable, so stop blaming yourself.

When you are struggling to conceive, it is so important to remember that it is not your fault.  Start looking towards your future instead of your past, and focus on ways that you can beat this problem rather than dwelling on it.

2. You can be proactive and tactical with your efforts

Having regular sex is a good start if you want to get pregnant. But there are more things you can do to increase your chances.

Learn about your cycle and the best time to conceive (there plenty of fertility apps out there where you can track this). These are normally the few days around ovulation, around 14 days after the first day of your last period. An egg lives for roughly 12-24 hours after being released, and sperm can survive for up to seven days in your body — use this window to your advantage.

If your partner struggles with erectile dysfunction, then you can consider trying an ED medication like Viagra (you can check out these viagra reviews on The Independent Pharmacy). ED medication offers various advantages for helping couples to get pregnant, such as allowing for more frequent sex, therefore increasing your chances of conceiving.

3. Lots of people don’t get pregnant instantly - be patient

Pressuring yourself and your partner to conceive within a set timeframe is only going to make you feel more stressed and more despondent. 

Be patient; lots of people don’t get pregnant straight away. Everybody is different: some people may get pregnant quickly, and some may take many months or even years to conceive successfully. 

Most couples (about 84 out of every 100) will get pregnant within a year if they have sex regularly and don't use contraception. So don’t lose hope if you don’t get pregnant right away — be realistic and give yourself time.

4. Your self-worth is not based on your fertility

Struggling to get pregnant — and with the worry of infertility hanging over you like a black cloud — can make you feel completely worthless. 

These are very common feelings experienced by women and men when they are struggling to conceive.

Remember, you are still the same wonderful person you were before you started trying for a baby — and that person will still be there in the future. Stop waiting around to start life again, or waiting to feel good again. 

You have so much to offer the world — so don’t forget to love yourself and live your life.

5.  It’s not completely hopeless - you can get help

Don’t just keep trying in vain to get pregnant when the situation feels hopeless — there is help out there. 

If you have been trying to conceive for over a year (or six months, if you’re over 35) and you haven’t had any luck, then visit your doctor or a fertility specialist. They will be able to help you with fertility testing, so that you can find out if anything is particularly wrong — and if so, what your options are. 

Whether your next step is IVF, a sperm donor, egg donor, embryo donor, surrogacy or adoption, there are many possible answers out there. And if you're coming to terms with infertility, here are some helpful ways to cope.

Struggling to conceive can be overwhelming. It can have a huge impact on your mental health and your relationship, hitting you with pressure and panic at a time when you want to be full of joy about starting a family. 

Try to remember these five things when you are struggling — they will help you to feel more positive and hopeful during your journey.