Knee slapping jokes about Scotland
9th Nov 2023 Funny Jokes
5 min read

A collection of jokes about Scotland and Scottish culture
If there's one notable thing about Scotland, it's their sense of humour and ability to laugh at themselves - a common theme in Britain as a whole. Scotland is known for its famous highlands, lochs and of course its inclement weather. The country has a friendly historical rivalry with England but the respect is mutual (or so we hope!). Here are a few jokes about Scotland.
1. Why did the Scottish bagpiper bring a ladder to the gig?
He wanted to reach those high notes!
- seen on the internet
2. Did you hear about the Scottish farmer who won the lottery?
He had a real "bonnie" chance of winning!
- seen on the internet
3. What's a Scotsman favourite game?
Loch, paper, scissors!
- seen on the internet
4. How do you make a Scottish snowman?
Just roll up a few boulders and call it a "wee, frosty friend!"
- seen on the internet
5. As the old saying goes, "want to experience four seasons?
Come to Scotland on a day trip.
- seen on the internet
6. Why does Scottish Mickey Mouse no longer use his helicopter?
It Disney land.
- seen on the internet
7. An Englishman said to a Scot "take away your mountains, glens and lochs and what have you got?"
"England", replied the Scot
- seen on the internet
8. How does a Scotsman like his coffee?
With a wee dram of Scotch!
- seen on the internet
9. How did the Scottish football team do when they won the championship?
They kilt the competition.
- seen on the internet
10. Did you hear about the newly married Scottish man?
He decided to call his Scottish father-in-law the “Exorcist” because every time he came to visit he made the spirits disappear.
- seen on the internet
Read more: Cheeky British jokes to give you a laugh
Read more: Football jokes that deserve a trophy
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