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Game of Thrones: A blagger's guide


1st Jan 2015 Film & TV

Game of Thrones: A blagger's guide
From what Jon Snow actually knows, to the Khaleesi’s horse heart, this is your ultimate guide to blagging Game of Thrones.
We’ve all had moments of panic in a conversation that’s suddenly out of our depth. ‘Only two more goals to win!’ you heartily bellow, before realising you’ve outed yourself as a total tennis novice. If this is your current level of Game of Thrones knowledge, fear no more, you’ll soon be geeking out with even the most avid watcher down the pub.

Difficulty level: Hard

Your friends are avid viewers. They watch every episode a day before it gets released in the UK.
First of all, come up with a convincing reason as to why you’ve suddenly caught up on the entire back catalogue. A surprise illness and a box set as a gift, perhaps. 
Offer a quick comment on Sansa Stark’s changing hair colour. You don’t even have to know what colour it is, just quip: ‘I wonder what’s up with that then?’
If you find the conversation rapidly running away from you, interject with: ‘She needs to reconnect with her dragons’.
You can then swiftly move the conversation on to how fit Daenerys Targaryen (aka 'the Khaleesi') is. This should work for both men and women.

Difficulty level: Medium 

Your companions wait for the box sets to come out, so they're a little behind. Assume moral superiority.
Start with dropping subtle hints like, ‘You’ll never guess who returns in Season 5’. Even if you have no intention of watching Season 5, this will prove true at some point.
Reminisce about how you felt during the Red Wedding and the Purple Wedding.
Red = shocked, appalled, screaming at your telly.
Purple = cackling with vicious glee into your popcorn.
You also have a get out of jail free card with Margaery Tyrell here: repeat the ‘How fit is…’ as mentioned above. 
You can also try repeating phrases like, ‘Where on earth is Gendry?’ and ‘You know nothing, Jon Snow’.

Difficulty level: Easy

These people have just jumped on the bandwagon...
All you need to know here is: 
  • Starks: we like them. Rulers of The North, friends with direwolves, boy who has visions of the future. If you really want to ruin someone’s day, tell them Sean Bean dies.
  • Lannisters: we hate them. Blonde, sadistic, mean to Starks and generally a dodgy lot. Bit of incest going on too.
  • The Khaleesi eats a horse’s heart to prove her love for Khal Drogo. Every true Game of Thrones fan knows actress Emilia Clarke actually ate a syrup-covered giant gummy bear for this scene.
  • If in doubt just say ‘winter is coming’ and wink. 
You made it! You are equipped to navigate any Game of Thrones-themed situation. If things get tricky, remember nobody knows what’s going on half the time anyway, so you can generally get away with musings about how the night is full of terrors, how much you hated Joffrey and how you don’t understand White Walkers.