The bathrooms really are that gross, your oversized suitcase isn’t helping anyone, and other insights from the travel experts who’ve seen—and dealt with—it all.

1. Want to start off on the wrong foot with me?

Put your carry-on in a full overhead bin, leave it sticking out six inches, then take your seat at the window and wait for someone else (me!) to come along and solve the problem you just created.

 

2. We’re not just being lazy

Our rules really say we aren’t allowed to lift your luggage into the overhead bin for you, though we can “assist.”

 

man luggage sticking out

 

3. Yes, passengers are incredibly rude

But stealing a beer, cursing out passengers, and jumping out of a plane is not the way to handle it.

You disarm an unruly passenger by introducing yourself, asking his name, and saying something like “I’ve been incredibly nice to you for three hours. Why are you treating me like this?”

Generally that gets the other passengers on your side—and sometimes they’ll even applaud.

 

4. Don’t ask us if it’s OK to use the lavatories on the ground

The answer is always yes. Do you think what goes into the toilet just dumps out onto the tarmac?

 

5. Do not poke or grab me. I mean it

No one likes to be poked, but it’s even worse on the plane because you’re sitting down and we’re not, so it’s usually in a very personal area.

You would never grab a waitress if you wanted ketchup or a fork, would you?

 

flight attendant

 

6. I hate working flights to fancy destinations 

The passengers all think they’re in first class even if they’re not. They don’t do what we ask.

 

7. If you’re traveling with a small child and you keep hearing bells…

bells, and more bells, please look to see if it’s your child playing with the flight attendant call bell.

 

8. The lavatory door is not rocket science

Just push.

 

air hostess

 

9. Bring the things that are important onto the plane

If you have a baby, bring nappies If you’re diabetic, bring syringes. If you have high blood pressure, don’t forget your medication.

That way, I’m not trying to make a diaper out of a sanitary pad and a pillowcase or asking over the intercom if someone has a spare inhaler.

 

10. If you hear us paging for a doctor…

Or see us running around with oxygen, defibrillators, and first aid kits, that’s not the right time to ask for a blanket or a Diet Coke.

 

11. You really expect me to take your soggy tissues?

Or your kid’s fully loaded nappy? I’ll be right back with gloves.

 

flight attendant

 

12. Just in case you hadn’t noticed, there are other people on the airplane besides you

So don’t clip your toenails, snore with wild abandon, or do any type of personal business under a blanket!

 

 

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