Real parents share the most hilarious things their kids have ever said; from the adorably innocent to the downright creepy. 

little girl cookies 
Via The Motherish

We were baking when my three-year-old niece asked,
“Are the cookies loading?”

 

pinata
Via Buzzfeed

My seven-year-old was convinced she could speak Spanish thanks to Dora the Explorer.

One day at a Mexican restaurant the waitress said “gracias!” and with all the conviction in the world my daughter responded "piñata!”.

 

child says shush
Via Reddit

"My leg is full of sparkles". I told my five-year-old son the correct term was 'asleep', and now he always says, "Shhhh my leg's sleeping".

 

rat
Via Reddit

When I was about nine, we were at dinner and my older brother was describing a study about mobile phone radiation and its effects on rat brains.

He was very convinced that everyone was going to get brain cancer.

When he was finished, my younger brother (then five) said; "Why would rats even need to use phones?"

 

baby twins
Via Buzzfeed

My twin sons came running to me in a panic… and one said,
"Ma! I CANNOT SEE MY EYES!"

 

Indiana Jones
Via Reddit

Yesterday we were watching Indiana Jones, and when Indy kissed Marion my six-year-old innocently asked;
"Is he going to get his whip out now?"

 

tall man
Via Reddit

I’m 6ft 5. A little girl turned to her dad and said; "Daddy, that man could eat the sun."

 

man child supermarket
Via Reddit

“Dad, why are you buying beer? Do you know how much candy we could get for that money?” 

 

pregnant
Via The Motherish

Daughter: “Mum, why’s your tummy big?”

Mum: “That’s because I’m expecting a baby.”

Daughter: “Where’s the baby?”

Mum: “Inside my tummy!”

Daughter: (Looking shocked) “OMG you ate the baby?”

 

girl and dog
Via Reddit

My little cousin was holding my dog when she turned to me and said,
"If I squeezed him as hard as I love him, he would explode.”

 

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